Not a Goodbye


Today is the day one of my best friends, Taylor Harrison, deploys and as a going away present all of her friends put together a little box of letters for her to open when she’s missing home, including personal letters from all of us. It is with a heavy heart that I share with you all my letter to Taylor so that you can get to know a little about the kind of person she is and understand how thankful and blessed I feel to have her as my friend.

Oh Taylor, where do I even begin?

I am not good at goodbyes. Even though I have been living in Columbus for four years now, whenever I go back to Cleveland to visit with my family, I always cry when I say goodbye to them. Though we have been friends for about a year now, we have grown so close so fast, and I could not be more thankful for that. I have been through a lot in my life, (you’ve only seen one incident with the car accident), but God has blessed me with some of the most beautiful souls like yourself to help keep me grounded during times of turmoil. It’s amazing how just a text, a gym session, or a really sweet and uplifting snapchat selfie can change my whole day around, especially when it’s from someone I care so much about. I think one of the most unfortunate truths about life is that people live without having any idea just how big of a positive impact they have on the people around them, as well as knowing how much they mean to them. You are one of those girls that has such a rare combination, beauty AND a pure heart. You are such a loving, forgiving, and selfless person, and you are constantly putting smiles on the faces of those around you. Every atmosphere, whether it be the gym, the workplace, or just hanging out with friends, is made so much better because you were in it. It’s times like those, the happiest of times, when I will think of you. Because every time we hangout, regardless of what we are doing, it is an absolute blast and I am smiling the entire time. I will be thinking of the first time we met, the gym sessions, watching you crush your fitness goals, just hanging out and venting about boys, all of it. Every memory is a wonderful one, and every experience can be made better simply by having you there. I can’t say that about many people. But when it comes to you, I can say these things without hesitation.

If you’re reading this, you’re probably missing your friends…me most of all, of course 😉 I think a lot of the sadness that comes with leaving deals with the underlying fear that while we are gone, those we care about the most may get busy and forget about us, or that we grow apart from the ones we love. I am not sure if this is the case with you, but rest assured a part of my heart leaves with you, and it will not be full again until you are back safe and sound. I will be praying for you the entire time; praying that you are staying safe, praying that you are having fun, praying that you are having the experience of a lifetime, and most of all praying that God stays with you and guides you through everything over these next 9 months while your family and friends are not there to help. I am going to be snap chatting and texting you 24 freaking 7 so you’re going to have to tell me when I’m being ridiculous and stop so that you can work LOL ! But on the flip side, if you are ever bored DO NOT HESITATE. and I mean this with full sincerity…DO. NOT. HESITATE. TO. TEXT/CALL/SNAP ME. I don’t care what time it is, I will always do my best to answer your calls. I want to hear about every last glory detail of your adventure!!! I am a writer, so I live for all of those little details. Who knows, you may inspire a new book idea for me! That is what I am going to be focusing on while you are gone, I want to write my first full novel and really focus on publishing more of my work. Hopefully I’ll have plenty of new blog posts this winter on Thoughts of a Blonde so you’ll have a way of being with me and dipping into my mind here in the states, even from so far away.

One of the things I love the most about you is the way you make me feel when it comes to living life and trying new experiences. Even with something as simple as dancing, you found a way to make such an intimidating thing for me (dancing and not making a fool of myself) not scary at all and so much more fun than even I thought it could ever be. I will never forget the way you just introduced me to your entire friend group at Flannagans, walked me through every single dance that came on that night (and every night since), and didn’t laugh or make me feel the least bit awkward when I did the same loop of steps fifty times but still didn’t have it memorized. I have never felt more welcomed by a group of people in my entire life, and honestly I can’t imagine going there and dancing without my best friend and teacher having fun right there with me. What I also admire is that you are safe and careful with everything you do, but you also don’t take too much time thinking about the things you want to do that make you happy, unlike me who tends to overthink and over prepare at times haha. You doing that, just living and being happy, created such a safe space for me where I felt like we could do anything and it would be so fun and everything would be okay.

Not one thing that has come out of your mouth has ever been anything other than absolutely sweet and kind. You have not once spoken in malice, raised your voice or spoke poorly of another person and it’s such a beautiful trait. If everyone in the world was more like you, the world would be a much, MUCH better place. What’s also crazy awesome about you is that you are an all around friend. I know we all have friends we only usually lift with, dance with, go out with, etc., but you are the kind of friend that is so well-rounded and fun that we can do anything and it wouldn’t matter. You are all about growth, happiness and kindness, and finding a friend like you is ridiculously hard to do. There is not one thing about you that isn’t FLAWLESS, and I will always be a text or call away to remind you of that no matter where you are in the world!

I said I am not good at goodbyes, so I am not going to say goodbye. I cannot and will not say goodbye to you. So instead I’ll say, until next time, beautiful chica! We will be back dancing and having fun so so SO soon!!!