The Ugly Truth


Last week I wrote about how to deal with inner demons and provided strategies to combat a negative mindset. This week, I want to focus on dealing with the demons we may not even know are with us that are keeping us from reaching our max potential. The ones that are hindering us from getting that promotion, starting that new business and reaching a higher level of happiness in life.

Everyone has goals, aspirations and dreams. You’re lying if you say you don’t. When people ask us where we see ourselves in ten years, there are two visions that come across our minds. The first one includes us driving home from our dream job in our dream car, back to our dream house with our dream spouse inside. Just as fast as it comes, that vision is quickly replaced with a much different one; one we have already deemed to be more “realistic” for us to achieve. Now we all know what this one looks like. You are disgruntled coming home from a long day at work, driving a used car of some sort and wondering when in the hell you will be finished paying off the mortgage and your student loans so you can actually start saving the money you bust your ass for to take your family on a nice vacation somewhere. That is, if you find are lucky enough to find someone that’ll put up with your stink ass long enough to have a family in the first place. Lol. Just kidding.

But seriously, why is it that our minds automatically switch over from the first vision to the second? Why are we so quick to doubt our own strengths and abilities? I strongly believe God gives us the dreams and aspirations we have for a reason and that none of these are by accident or just a coincidence. God did not give us dreams that he did not know we are not completely, 100 percent capable of achieving; and he even gives us all the tools to do so. All of our visions undoubtedly look very different from one another as we all want different things, but they all have one thing in common: our future selves are our happiest and most successful selves. Now what’s preventing you from reaching these goals? Why is it that no matter how hard you diet and exercise that you just cannot lose those love handles? Why is it that no matter how hard you try to market your company, you still cannot expand our clientele past a certain point? Do you find yourself going in circles but unable to ever break past a certain threshold?

I hate to sound so cliche, but the truth is simple: you are completely capable of achieving all of the things you want in life and so much more. The only limits you have are the ones that you set for yourself. However, there may be factors that you have not considered that are keeping you from working at your maximum efficiency and are holding you back from getting exactly what it is that you want.

The ugly truth is, the people in your inner circle, your family and friends, are the first ones who will try to deter you from doing the things that you love most. At the very least, they create enough doubt in your mind that will have you questioning the path you are going down. Of course, we would never think that the people we love the most could actually be a big part of the reason why we are stuck where we are…but it’s true.

In order to get what it is that you want, you need to ask yourself one very important question: what am I willing to do to get what it is that I want? Are you willing to sacrifice time away from friends and family members, or even lose some of them? What is most important in discovering your potential is coming to the realization that you need to put blinders on hunny. That’s right, cut out anyone and anything that is hindering you from operating at your best. You most certainly can achieve the things that you want, it’s just up to you whether or not you’re willing to face the ugly truth: achieving your dreams is not all sunshine and rainbows. It can and usually is a very miserable and lonely time. You want to be the CEO of the next multi-billion dollar company? Time to put those blinders on, block out the world, and laser focus in on exactly what it is that you want, and do not stop until you reach the levels you know in your heart you are capable of.

Do you honestly believe think LeBron James got to the point he is at now by spending a lot of nights out with friends at bars? Get real. The top one percent of athletes who make it to the top do not get there without putting in extensive hours at the gym and perfecting their diets for optimal performance. They know exactly what it is they want and don’t hesitate to go after it with full force. More importantly, those individuals aren’t afraid to ask God for the strength they need to go after their goals and never give up on themselves. Rather than waste their time listening to critics…they put their blinders on.

In addition to the hours of hard work, they keep their circle small…and so should you. Make sure that those you do let in, are the ones that will be the most beneficial to your growth…but choose wisely. 

If you are struggling with reaching the next phase of your life or feel something is holding you back from achieving greatness, I highly encourage you to take a look around you. Who is in your circle, why are they there, and are they fueling your fire or putting it out? It’s not to say that they don’t mean well, because they probably do. But there is a big difference between wanting the best for someone and actually being the best for someone. Just something to think about.