Thankfully, one of the best or most dreaded holidays of the year (depending on your relationship status) is past us and surely the people who are single have found their way out of their cave of hibernation and Ben & Jerrys by now. No worries, you have a while until the holidays roll around before you need to worry about feeling that way again. Or, you can change your perspective of Valentine’s Day and holidays in general and feel much better about the life you are living now. I promise, your love life is not as non-existent as you think it is. Here is a list of mistakes you made on Valentine’s Day and how to adjust your mindset for the future.
- Comparing your relationship or relationship status to others. If you are single, Valentine’s Day just sucks. there are no ifs ands or buts about it. The main reason for that is because you are exposed to the dangerous dark hole that is social media and are subconsciously comparing your relationship or relationship status to others. However, the WORST thing you can do on Valentine’s Day is compare yourself to others. I’ll let you in on a little secret: those relationships are usually no where near as successful or happy as they are portrayed to be. If anything, the happiest relationships are the ones that aren’t posted for the world to see because they are too busy enjoying each other’s company to worry about the outside world. The truth is, you are probably in a much better seat than your friend is. If that person is not with the person they are going to marry, there is a good chance they may will not be in a relationship next Valentine’s Day and will be miserable and alone. You are in the better seat because you are free to find the person you are meant to be with. For all you know, it could very well be tomorrow. We are all on our own timeline in life, and you will find that person when it is meant to happen. Just give it time.
- Buying flowers. This is the most cliche thing you can do on Valentine’s Day. I’m sorry, but buying flowers for someone scores you absolutely no points on Valentine’s Day – it’s expected. Don’t waste your money on something that is so basic. Guys, if you truly care about your lady, you are surprising her with flowers on days just because a girl deserves them. DO NOT WAIT until Valentine’s Day to buy a girl flowers and fulfill a requirement. She can see past that bullshit and so should you. What you need to focus on are things that mean something more to her, to you, or the both of you. Flowers, while beautiful, have a short life span and mean nothing. If you must … opt for a cactus or something that is designed to live through the extremes and let that be a symbol of your relationship. If she somehow finds a way to let that thing die, dump that bitch.
- Missing the message. This one may not be as obvious, but it ties into the last point about buying flowers for a person on Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day is not about the damn flowers, it’s about the message you are trying to send to your significant other. This day is a day that is meant to express love and appreciation for a person you deeply care for. If you truly want to show someone that you care for them, you will find something that has some sort of significant meaning tailored to that person or to your relationship. What are the things she likes to do? Does she have any weird quirks, collections or things they love that maybe only you know about? Is there a funny inside joke between the two of you that you share? If so, go and get that girl a coffee mug to add to their absurdly large collection already. Take her back to the place that you found one night while exploring on a late night rendezvous and have a little picnic set aside. Nothing will say that you love or appreciate someone more than if you put some thought and effort into your gift, and it doesn’t need to be something you spend a lot of money on. Trust me, all a girl wants is reassurance that she’s the one you care about and that your relationship means just as much to you as it does to her.
- Not raiding the stores the day after for candy. I mean, seriously, if you didn’t do this…you may really end up alone because you’re the epitome of stupid. Every person knows the greatest part of Valentine’s Day is the fact that all of the best candy is 50 percent off the next day. If anything, don’t think of it as Valentine’s Day. Think of it as every sweet tooth’s Black Friday.
- Thinking you can’t do something sweet for someone just because you aren’t in a relationship. Not dating someone? Your huge heart and longing to give to another person does not have to go to waste just because you are not in a relationship. Who cares! This is a day that is meant to show appreciation for a person you care deeply about, it does not have to be a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Now that you are out of that hibernation pity party you threw for yourself and other single friends, pick your chin up and look around. You probably have a lot of people in your life that you love and that would do anything for you. If this day is not going to be spent in a candlelit bathtub, then show the people who are currently in your life how much you love them and couldn’t make it through life without them. Go buy your mom a cactus for crying out loud.
I strongly believe one of the hardest lessons to learn is that life is 10 percent what happens to you, and 90 percent is how you choose to respond. However, it’s more like 5/95. We have no control over the future or what comes our way from day to day. All that we can ask of ourselves is that we try to do the best we can with the cards we are dealt, or make the most out of the situations that we cannot control. We cannot control when God will put our person into our lives, but we can control our mindset and how we choose to expend our energy on Valentine’s Day. Do not let your past experiences, relationships or current mindset hinder you from seeing what’s right in front of you either. For all you know, your person could very well be in a prominent position in your life already, patiently waiting for you to figure it out. Don’t be afraid to let them in.